I am confused today, and saddened. I have observed myself through the stages
of the development of this sadness. Many times i have seen this repeat
itself. But i do not see the way to break the chain. Practicing zazen
makes me feel better, but i can not practice all day, i must work.
I can see no answer other than to just not care anymore and face my life
with a stoic attitude. But this leaves me cold and often back fires to
make me sadder. There is a woman who i love, but often my love for her leads
to saddness. The saddness will never go away, and seems to be tied to her
monthly cycle. I have tried to leave her but always find my way
back, what am I to do.

Answer from Master Kosen

It's better not to spend your zazen considering your misfortune or your
weariness in an objective way, otherwise you will on the contrary only
develop still more what is already too much delopped in you : "your egoism".
Concerning your sadness, it certainly comes from a emptiness of yang
in the kidneys and in the spleen. Heat the points 4 and 14 of the `Mai' on the
backbone several times a day, eat a lot of ginger, do some sports and you
will improve.
As for your relation with your fiancee, aren't you ashamed to speak this way?
Show some generosity and knighty care. You are speaking like a coward. When your
beloved has her menstruations, be full of attention and patience and attend her

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