Hello, I found Zen and I heard about what that is, but I do not understand. At first, I understood that it was a practice. Then I read that it was to follow or to count the breathings with your back straight. Then I understood that it was nothing special, then something very special. Now I would like to have read anything at all. We would not say that I manage to do something with all this. But we would not say either that I am going to abandon. Maybe because the rest of my life annoys me so much. Having counted my breathings, somebody said: "to count the breathings is not so important, but wonder "who" is counting the breathings." Now, Zen has just became as boring as any other part of my life. I had never thought of these things previously, and now I am not able to stop any more. What can I do? I have a disease of very seriousZen. I thought that I should ask somebody who knows.
If you want to discover Zen, you must find a true Master.