Question
Since I started practicing Zen, I feel much better. It is happiness without a party, like something
I always knew but never paid attention to. It seems easier to make decisions about changing
the paths I take in life.
This year I even decided to return to school, and since then I have had less
time for my family (my wife and children), which makes me feel guilty.
For example, this week I wanted to go to a sesshin, but since I have had so little time
for them, they complained, and I had a bit of an argument with my wife. Now I do not
feel good about going to the sesshin. I decided not to go, but I feel bad that way too.
What do you think of all this? Have you ever faced a dilemma like this?
How did you feel?
Anonymous
Answer from Master Kosen
Often we use the energy zazen gives us to do more things in our lives, and that is dangerous when we already have an established life with a family. We need wisdom, the wisdom born of zazen: not thinking this is good and that is bad, but being exact with ourselves and with others, which is very difficult. So organize your life, be very clear about when there is a sesshin, and tell your wife in advance. Then, the following weekend, do something exceptional with your family. I have never faced this problem, because zazen has always come first, and my children have received it in some way, although they do not really like the zazen that stole their mother.
Kosen