Question
Master,
Ten years ago, my brother died. I risked my life to save him, but I didn't succeed... This tragedy changed my life... Since then, I have searched for my way along many paths and had moments of happiness and fulfillment... But a feeling keeps returning in the form of guilt, depression, anxiety, sadness, fears, illness, and death, because at one point I felt I had to die with him... Although I know I did everything I could, these fears keep returning. I feel it is so powerful emotionally that I cannot transform this dark energy that is destroying me inside... I promise you I try. I fall a hundred times and get up a hundred and one times, but there is something inside that completely blocks me and keeps coming back... It makes me very sad that I cannot be happy, enjoy my life, and simply be at peace.
The idea of becoming ill, feeling physical pain, or knowing that one day I will die paralyzes me, even though in my quiet moments I perceive that everything is only an illusion.
What should I do? How can I face such an emotionally charged problem?
Thank you, Sensei, thank you.
Domo arigato...
lukitas2013
Answer from Master Kosen
Do you know that the great musician and singer Ray Charles went through the same thing as you and became blind because of it?
Since there are always potential rivalries and perfectly normal jealousies between brothers, when such an accident happens, guilt is inevitable and lodges in the unconscious.
I think you could get good results with Ericksonian psychotherapy.
Kosen