Question
Hello,
I need your help.
My wife has cancer. She lives with pain every day. This reality affects me deeply. I do three to five hours of zazen a day, but I cannot relax. I somatize her illness. The last zazen sessions of the day are sometimes difficult, as inhaling can become painful. My throat feels tight every day (like a sore throat), incense can bother me, and I sometimes feel I am suffocating, short of air… I sense a blockage around the solar plexus. I cannot find the solution myself. I try every possible form of breathing when I feel the “discomfort” building, or even do nothing and observe… Nothing works. What I know is that I try to do as much zazen as possible to recenter myself, but it doesn’t seem to be enough.
Thank you for whatever help you can give me.
Anonymous
Answer from Master Kosen
Practice bamboo breathing: Exhale, then at the end of the exhalation hold the breath for one or two seconds, then exhale a little more, then let the inhalation happen. Allow three or four breaths to happen naturally, then repeat. This breathing will help you lower the energy further.
Kosen