Question
I feel bad and sad today. I have observed myself through every stage in the development of this sadness. I have often seen it repeat, but I cannot see how to break the chain. When I practice zazen, I feel better, but I cannot practice all day; I have to work. I see no solution other than simply to stop caring and face life stoically. That makes me cold, and only makes me sadder. There is a woman I love, but often my love for her leads me to sadness. This sadness will never go away and seems linked to her monthly cycle. I have tried leaving her, but I have always found my way back. What should I do?
Anonymous
Answer from Master Kosen
It is better not to spend zazen objectively considering your unhappiness or fatigue, or you will instead further develop what is already overdeveloped in you: your selfishness. As for your sadness, it certainly comes from a deficiency of yang in the kidneys and spleen. Warm points 4 and 14 of the ‘Mai’ on your spine several times a day, eat plenty of ginger, exercise a little, and things will improve. As for your relationship with your fiancée, aren’t you ashamed to speak that way? Show a little generosity and chivalry. You sound like a real wimp. When your sweetheart has her period, be considerate, patient, and attentive to her. This time is often painful and difficult for women.
Kosen