Question
After practicing zazen, I feel full of energy and balanced, somewhere between passive and detached, but stuck when it comes to memory. I have trouble remembering names and the events of my daily life. In other words, it takes me a while to remember. Could it be that I do not concentrate enough on the hara and instead concentrate too much (unconsciously) on the posture?
Could it be because my mind is not mushotoku, or because I do not know true shikantaza?
Anonymous
Answer from Master Kosen
Thank you for your question. You are right: sometimes I too notice that my memory is becoming more and more selective, and I forget things. I have to do all sorts of mental gymnastics to remember the name of an actor or a movie…
On the other hand, here at the dojo there are some students who practice every day, and zazen has never prevented them from getting excellent grades on their exams.
So it is more that people are different, rather than zazen, and their minds are developed in one direction or another. I am more contemplative than intellectual, and ultimately there are many things that do not matter that much, except socially.
It is said that when someone reaches the state of Buddha, they can remember their previous lives. But the truth is that their previous lives have no substance; they are merely the conditioned production of karma. Ultimately, in Zen, remembering your previous lives means returning to the memory of your original nature and developing the intuition of Prajna that belongs to our true Being.
On the other hand, I think that simply thinking you are not mushotoku means you already are…
Best regards, and good zazen.
Kosen