Question
Hello, Master Kosen. A question bothers me enormously and keeps me from moving forward. I have committed reprehensible acts that I am now ashamed of, things connected to women, relationships, desire, and my stupidity. My ex-girlfriend recently left me because of my mistakes, and I am deeply desperate about it. Is this breakup linked to my karma? Is it a punishment? I am truly ashamed of what I have done and feel pity, hatred, and contempt for myself. I failed to control myself. And this is not just about women but also my family, whom I do not help much around the house. They think I am a good-for-nothing, and so on. And I see myself as a total good-for-nothing. And as a sinner. What can I do? Can zazen help me get out of this self-contempt and self-pity (although I know we must be mushotoku in zazen)? Thank you very much. Tom
Tom
Answer from Master Kosen
Kosen