Question
I read Nina’s question. She feels so alone as an “awakened” person in this world
agitated by illusion.
I just want to say that she touched me, that she expresses so well
feelings I have felt all too painfully, and that in fact she is not
alone. We are not alone, but we believe what happens to us is
so unique that we shut ourselves away.
Is the hardest part the moment of breakthrough, of awakening, when the veil
tears?
I feel that the hardest part is integrating this unlimited experience
into this body and mind, and I have been struggling like hell with
that for years… even while doing zazen. Isn’t it sometimes harder to accept
being unlimited than to return to our prison?
As for me, I have trouble moving forward, and I can no longer go back.
WHO AM I?
Today I no longer have any answer. The only one I feel is that
without others, “I” cannot truly exist.
I hope with all my heart that Nina will come sit with us.
I remember hearing you say recently that sometimes you could feel
like dying, but that within that feeling, you also wanted to live.
Yesterday I felt fed up with life, and your words
came back to me. Then I felt: why not have both these impressions
side by side within us?
Deshimaru, and you after him, talk about harmonizing contradictions.
Does integrating awakening into the ordinary mean reaching a state in which
we can contain this constant antagonism in body and mind? Bear
choosing neither side, and remain in the center bearing this tension?
Does it mean developing our capacity to bear this tension?
I think so. Am I wrong or not?
Thank you for being here for us.
See you soon.
Laurent
Anonymous
Answer from Master Kosen
It is up to us to create who we are, rather than passively endure a destiny suggested by the collective unconscious.
Kosen