Question
I enjoyed your video lecture; the scientific aspect interests me a great deal.
You should put more of them on the site regularly.
Before, I felt connected to the universe only energetically.
Now I feel it throughout my body in a physical sense,
as though that energy had become material, but I think it is
ultimately the same energy. I hope I am not getting lost in grand visions,
but feeling it gives me a broader view of things.
I increasingly want to put into practice what I think I am integrating,
or rather, I increasingly want to practice what I think I have
understood so I can integrate it. In fact, I sometimes surprise myself by applying
certain things without really realizing it. But I wondered:
How do we know when we can truly apply things?
Or rather, is there a particular moment when we can apply things?
I ask because sometimes a part of me
does not dare, partly out of shyness. I feel I have not
worked on myself enough to truly apply it,
but on the other hand I think it is through practice that we really understand.
I have another question:
Ever since I began practicing zazen, I have always taken
care to avoid doing it while expecting something specific in return.
For example: it has been a stressful day—I’ll do zazen!
I want to do zazen for zazen and nothing else, but I increasingly feel
a growing openness within me, and I want to practice zazen a little more, perhaps
twenty or thirty minutes occasionally in the morning, precisely to help that openness
grow.
What do you advise?
Thank you.
lydia
Answer from Master Kosen
Everything is relative.
Kosen