Question
For several months now, I have continued practicing zazen almost despite myself, but I no longer find the enthusiasm and vigor that fear of impermanence gave me. On the other hand, I understand that there is nothing to expect in return from practice, except perhaps the satisfaction of knowing we have nothing to lose. I should normally be happy about that, but I am not. Do we gradually get used to happiness until we take it for granted and fall back into dissatisfaction? Or am I simply tired and disappointed after believing and searching so much, only to finally understand that there is nothing to find?
Anonymous
Answer from Master Kosen
That is a very Parisian understanding of zazen!
Kosen