Question
Hello. I have recently begun to go to church every morning before work to pray the rosary by myself on my knees and breathe calmly. After work, I have been going every day to two hours of Bikram yoga. This all began due to a relationship ending where I believe I was not positive during parts of the relationship. Yet, I was also doing everything I could for my partner and supporting him greatly. I am having extreme feelings of anger at myself. In the past, I have committed acts which were sinful, and I am wondering how I could change my karma due to those which may have led to an ending of a very important relationship for me
Anonymous
Answer from Master Kosen
Hi,
No one can change the past, we just have to live with it, understanding the teaching that we can get from the past events. The first thing is obviously to try first to understand deeply our karma, why did we react this way? Why the others had this kind of attitude with us ? And try not to make again the same mistakes. In zen there is no sin, just our reality, but there is something that we can call: having compassion for ourselves. Just human beings, who react and do what they can on the moment when phenomenon’s arise. There is no reason why you should let yourself hating yourself, quite at the contrary love yourself, increase your confidence in you, forget the notion of sin, it is just in your mind. Right now you can decide that you will stop with these bad feelings, and see the future in being certain that you hold your life in your hands.
No one can escape karma, but we can change our mind, and by doing that we change our reality. Take a good breath and go for it, the world is yours. Do not let yourself to be stacked. Life, karma are dynamic and you can change them, provided you think that you are someone very valuable, for yourself and for the others. Everything is part of our life, we do not have any other life, so make the best of it with courage, it is up to you.
Kosen