Question
Hello,
For medical reasons, my daughter probably will not be able to have children, and we will not become grandparents. I find this unfair to her and to us. I have trouble accepting it and not being jealous of others with grandchildren, and it eats away at me. Of course, there are worse situations, but it is a whole dreamed-of future that will not happen. I show nothing. I do not talk about it to people around me. What is the point?
I have practiced zazen for twenty years. Today my heart is heavy.
I just wanted to write this.
Jacotte
Answer from Master Kosen
You say, "My daughter probably will not be able to have children."
Your phrase 'sans doute'—'probably,' but literally 'without doubt'—is important! I say, "If you are without doubt, she will be able to!"
Words create our future realities...
When I was with Sensei, my Zen master, one fine morning during zazen he began a new teaching topic based on the sutra of Kannon, the goddess Kannon, called Guanyin in Chinese. The Japanese title of this chapter from the Lotus Sutra is the Kannon Gyo.
After zazen, Sensei asked me, "Did you like my teaching?"
"Sensei, I like Zen teaching because it is nonreligious. We already have the Virgin Mary; we do not need new goddesses or gods."
Sensei answered, "It is better to believe in her."
As if we had a choice?
Whether we believe or do not believe, whether she exists or does not exist? I was blown away! What a wonderful teaching.
Now, thanks to this faith, I know the goddess Kannon, Guanyin, intimately.
Precisely the one who protects and heals childhood wounds and mothers' suffering.
Guanyin's master was none other than Green Tara. She taught her disciple
a mantra of extraordinary power and love.
All I can do for you is advise you to recite this mantra nine times every day.
Nine times, like an egg—the French 'neuf' echoes 'œuf'—thinking of a woman's womb.
Om tare tuttare ture soha...
I love you.
Kosen