Question
Hello!
I practice zazen for 45 minutes every morning at home, carefully respecting the posture, trying to be relaxed and open and fully in my breathing.
Sometimes old pain and wounds resurface, a lack of love or attention, and sometimes insecurity. These are old childhood wounds that rise within me in life whenever the opportunity appears, like a need for parental security I lack. My spontaneous reaction today (which was not always the case) is to view this with great compassion and some distance. Basically, as though I were comforting that child within me with all my heart, and it does me good, even though experiencing it is painful.
My question to you as an experienced master is: is this part of a healing process, and is it healthy? Because I would truly like to free myself from this dependence on external security.
Thank you in any case for your answer, which I hope will help others too! :)
Gassho!
Senzala
Answer from Master Kosen
Absolutely. Continue without dwelling too much on analysis; things release naturally at their own pace.
If you have the opportunity, do not hesitate to practice with others in a dojo and have your posture checked.
Kosen