Question
I read your discussions among Stéphane, Roland, and Étienne, the questions from
practitioners, monks, nuns… and mine mixed in with them. And suddenly
I burst into loud laughter!
Thank you for showing yourselves as human among humans. My heart received a lesson
in humor and love, among others that make my life joyful:
O time of love, so much hatred in return!
I saw Taisen Deshimaru listening to you and looking at you like his children running
through the grounds of La Gendronnière, bursting into laughter as he watched you argue,
demand, defend, reason, cry, hide, reappear… I saw a
father laughing with all his heart, all his being, scolding you in his deep voice
and offering a few teachings. Listen to him through all the beings who
ask you, these “children,” so many questions. How fortunate you were to be
at his side and benefit from his faith.
I was born in 1967,
and almost thirty years ago Buddhism entered my life
through texts, books: Rampa… a true joy for a child
who understood nothing of the church people tried to instill in him.
None of it worked!
Chögyam Trungpa was my second encounter. I was still in middle school.
My intellect was “disturbed,” but my heart was once again revived and strengthened.
Then Taisen Deshimaru, a book, and the description of zazen.
I practiced zazen alone for a long time…
A refuge.
Alexandra David-Néel also nourished my reflections,
and I keep a text by Kodo Sawaki close to me.
I am not a scholar, a monk, or even a member of an association.
I wanted to join a sangha, a group, but no opportunity appeared.
Much later, I managed to open the door of an AZI dojo.
I practiced zazen with others: what great joy in the simple silence
of a group of people in zazen.
Something bothered me: I sensed politics in
that place, that assembly, that association…
Things I had inwardly fought as a child so as not to yield
to the inculcation of a doctrine that was, after all, natural, since I
was immersed in that gently present church culture, which would have
passed itself off as a tree or flower in a child’s landscape, something breathed in
at the church’s skirts until the end of one’s days.
There were traces of that smell in the dojo, and it was not incense.
I wanted to practice zazen. I left.
I am about to turn forty, and I will celebrate that birthday
along with the anniversary of the start of Taisen Deshimaru’s work.
That means something to me. He is in my heart, in my life,
and I want to tell you,
Stéphane, Master Kosen, that you have touched my heart. I also feel
the sadness you experience and express. I receive the strength of your faith
within my being. The position you defend is difficult and surely
necessary.
From my heart to yours.
Anonymous
Answer from Master Kosen
I shin den shin
Kosen