Question
Why do people disappoint us? How can we keep those things from
affecting us… I thought I had found someone different, but that was not
the case. He turned out to be just another clown wanting to put on a good show, and now I cannot stop
crying because I feel used. I am so sensitive that I feel
even my soul hurts. I cannot understand how he can let himself be swayed by the
flattery of the people around him and say they are good people when
they are not. Hypocrisy even pours out of their eyes, and worst of all,
he has allowed those people to laugh at me, and I still have not heard an apology.
I expect much more from him in that regard, but so far he acts as if
nothing has happened. He has seen me cry and does not apologize. What should I do so it
no longer affects me? Thank you for helping me. If you believe in God, may he bless you
forever. Until next time.
Anonymous
Answer from Master Kosen
What I understand from your question is that first you need to stop crying. Men do not like tears because they have been forbidden to cry since childhood. So you find yourself in the same circumstances: a difficulty arises and you cry, the man leaves, and you hate him or feel deceived. This is called karma conditioned by circumstances. You are the one who must change and let go of your emotions. I know it is difficult, but zazen can help you do that, become stronger, and take a more detached view of what you are experiencing. Enjoy what is good and do not try to possess it; that is what causes suffering. Look at the Four Noble Truths; they explain everything.
Cordially,
Kosen