Question
At one point in your kusen this summer of 2006, you say that we must fulfill our
karma.
What does that mean?? Does it mean we must go all the way until our karma is exhausted?? That is, to the end of our mistakes??
For my part, I do not want to: obviously there are
mistakes I have no wish to repeat. But I see, after returning from your sesshin
in Lyon, that although I was fairly relaxed immediately afterward, I can no longer bear
the imprisonment of my life, or seeing how much I participate in it, and I am trying to
change it all. But sometimes I want to throw everything away, and I wish
I could remain stupid and ignorant; it would be more comfortable. It will pass, but I
am tired of wasting time. I see the power of illusion’s hold,
especially how I endorse the whole thing, and I cannot bear it anymore,
not at all!!!
Does fulfilling our karma mean using it for the Way? Does it
mean we necessarily have to act (which I do not believe)?? Does it
mean karma becomes Dharma (which appeals to me much more)??
What should I do with this ӣդ*#@ karma?? Is there a point when we ourselves
must consciously initiate the process (I think that is where I am
today), instead of operating on blessings that come from
outside??
Otherwise, the sesshin did me a world of good. I rediscovered sensations and a
simplicity I had not felt for a very long time. Simply sitting.
Together.
See you soon.
Laurent
Answer from Master Kosen
Fulfilling your karma means saying to yourself: well, I am tired of repeating this now; I am going to experience something else.
Kosen