Question
My mother died eleven days ago. In the month before her death, I argued with my brothers because I felt she was not being treated properly. I alerted a doctor, an association, and the family. I think she was unhappy that we had argued. She had refused to eat for at least ten days, was very thin, and her heart stopped. I wanted a more peaceful end of life for her, someone who had helped others so much. Fate was unfair. I do not know why intelligent, altruistic people go through such hard times. People talk to me about destiny and bad luck. I blame myself for not understanding sooner who my brothers were. She told me she could not choose. I think a mother’s heart is immense. She leaves a great emptiness. What should I do? My friends advise me to protect myself and keep my distance from my brothers. This is the first time we have had trouble. I know they can be violent, that they hate me, and I do not know why. Do you have any advice to help me get through this ordeal?
Anonymous
Answer from Master Kosen
From what you describe, your sensitivity is more awakened than theirs, and you are probably more intelligent and, above all, more generous.
But try to put yourself in their place so you can understand their point of view with plenty of perspective, as your mother did. Try to accept and forgive them, if possible. And that’s that. Keep your distance if you no longer have anything in common.
Kosen