Question
The pain in my legs and knees makes it almost impossible for me to practice. I do not understand the role of pain in the practice. The texts do not mention this bodily pain, which divides me into someone who wants zazen with all his intellect and a body that will not allow it.
Hernan
Answer from Master Kosen
Hello, Hernán:
Thank you for your question. At first, this is the big question: how can I endure the pain?
You already have a sense of humor, because you have noticed that books do not talk about the pain that the zazen posture causes in the knees or back. Why? Because pain is a personal matter, and Zen is not about the person. When we practice zazen, we must leave the person behind, and in that sense pain is a good method. It lets us concentrate on exhaling and forget ourselves. Finally, the zazen period is over, and we are still alive and have not moved. Victory! The next zazen becomes easier, until the day when pain no longer defines zazen.
On the other hand, you may be ill or too weak for a practice such as zazen, and you may be better off practicing seated in a chair. But enduring, not moving, and following the posture transmitted by the Buddhas is the great victory. When I was young, I was in quite a bit of pain, but at the Paris dojo there was an elderly woman who never moved, ever. After zazen, when she turned around to chant the Hannya Shingyo, her face showed tremendous strength. So I sat behind her and drew on her example, and little by little I stopped moving.
Best regards.
Kosen