Question
I know the heart has its reasons that reason knows nothing of, but for two years I have been in a relationship I could call destructive. I am with someone who refuses any communication beyond the superficial, and even that is one-way. I listen to him talk about his problems for hours and take them so much upon myself that I am becoming ill. When I sometimes talk a little about myself, I get laughter or remarks such as: “I have enough problems without taking on yours,” “Do what you want as if I didn’t exist.” A more specific example: after a very long spell of unemployment, I was lucky enough to find a job. Delighted, I told him about it that evening, and two seconds later he started talking about something else, telling me he is a dreamer and what I was saying was boring. He promises me a little trip together, but when I gently bring it up again, he laughs in my face, saying he won’t leave during election season or that he is broke. So much loneliness and suffering, and yet I stay. Perhaps I am stupid to write this to you, but tonight I am done in, and perhaps a little advice could help me escape this passion.
Besides, there is no intellectual, cultural, or artistic connection. Why am I wasting my time and life like this?
Thank you for your words, if there are any.
Chantal
Answer from Master Kosen
It seems to me the situation is clear to you. All that remains is to make a decision to end this unjust and frustrating situation. The man you need already exists within you, and you certainly deserve him.
Kosen