Question
Hello, As far as I know, there is no vow of sexual abstinence for Zen monks, nuns, or masters. Many spiritual traditions require it. In your view, how can abstinence be good for a person, and why is it suggested or even required in many spiritual traditions (including Buddhism)?
Thank you.
Anonymous
Answer from Master Kosen
Hello,
First, we must not confuse religion with spirituality. Religions make demands and consist of dogmas, while spirituality engages human consciousness. When it comes to sexuality, you must be moral and know that the body asks for nothing. Only the mind thinks sexuality is a need. If you think otherwise—that sexual relations are not essential—then your body will remain calm. Nevertheless, marriage is not forbidden in Zen. Our master, Sensei, often celebrated weddings in the little Pernety dojo, but above all he wanted purity of mind and regretted the partners’ frivolity. Zen marriage does indeed resemble Christian marriage: “Let no one separate what God has joined together.” When marriage is “a bulwark against vice” and “a home for affection,” then yes, sexuality is a good thing. Conversely, using sexuality to “supposedly” improve your zazen is a fundamental mistake. Some people confuse universal love with human love. Be careful, because this is a serious mistake and leads practitioners to seek sexual partners instead of spiritual understanding. Above all, do not mix the two levels. This is the most common mistake in Zen. Master Deshimaru’s wish was for everyone to practice freely and responsibly (the spirit of mushotoku). In such cases, heading in the wrong direction causes great suffering to oneself, to others, and to the whole world.
Kosen