Question
Another question: Can practicing zazen change something indirectly, have a psychological or even esoteric influence on my relationship with my wife, and help her understand truths without my having to explain anything? She is outside all philosophy and religion and doesn’t like talking about them.
She is kind but has a strong personality, which means I sometimes wish she had more compassion and altruism in certain situations that make me uncomfortable given what I believe.
Sometimes I am the one who puts his foot in it in certain situations, but then I break the harmony of our relationship, and we sometimes clash. She tells me, “You’re too nice; you have to show your teeth and stand up for yourself about this or that,” and I tend to do nothing, avoid making things worse, and let the situation sort itself out, while my wife goes on the offensive, sometimes cruelly,
and disagreement sets in.
Then the reproaches begin: “Your Buddhas! Your Jesus! If I go to hell, I don’t give a damn; at least I’ll have said what I think,” etc…
Sometimes I feel like donating, making a few donations to an organization to satisfy my thirst for compassion, but she holds me back. In short, there is sometimes disharmony, and she is a brake on my practice.
Anonymous
Answer from Master Kosen
Listen! Everyone has problems with his old lady.
Kosen