Question
I have only recently begun practicing zazen. For me, zazen is a source of happiness, but the further I go in my practice, the harder I find it. My legs start hurting after fifteen minutes. I am a little ashamed, but the other day during zazen my legs hurt so much that I could not wait to leave. The last straw was when the monk began a sermon. All I wanted was for him to shut up, and then a feeling of
hatred toward him arose in me (though during that time I stopped thinking about the pain). Please do not answer with just yes or no (it is very frustrating): is it normal to feel hatred during zazen?
Anonymous
Answer from Master Kosen
For a while now, just anyone has been saying just anything in certain dojos. That must indeed be rather unbearable.
Kosen