Question
Master Kosen,
My friends and family—my cousins—put a lot of pressure on me. They always bring up sex… I am 19 and a virgin. You can imagine… My situation always comes up IN EVERY CONVERSATION, and I find it extremely uncomfortable…
I have had opportunities to have sex, but I was not attracted to the person in several ways, so why do it? I am someone who does not like to be careless! Then make someone feel bad because I only want sex and she wants a lasting relationship… No! And going to a prostitute is out of the question.
Lately this pressure has increased considerably. I would like some good advice to help me cope and enjoy my relationship in a healthy way, without this making me feel pressured or making my partner uncomfortable.
Thank you very much.
Anonymous
Answer from Master Kosen
My teacher of Chinese medicine, who was the 17th generation of physicians to the emperor, said that, following the natural development of yin and yang, the ideal physiological age for having sexual relations was 24 for men and 21 for women.
Buddha said that good and evil in the world of Mara, the demon, were different from good and evil in the world of Dharma. So do not let yourself be influenced by what is politically correct in this sick world. Follow your feelings.
Sexual relations are not gymnastics; they require a sincere feeling of love and mutual trust.
Kosen