Question
I am looking for a master to guide me on my spiritual path.
I am a professional musician with a little media exposure, having accompanied and recorded with one of this century’s greatest jazz musicians, Mr. Archie Shepp. My name is Stéphane Guéry, but that has no importance in the face of our impermanence and that of the phenomenal world. I discovered Buddhism at 25, following “panic attacks” and existential questions. I practiced for about a year and a half with the help of a lama who gave me meditation instructions. Although the teaching I received has remained in my heart, I stopped practicing about fifteen years ago after my mother died. Recently, following a very busy life of concerts and classes (I also teach), my mind became overwhelmed, and strangely, those panic attacks that had disappeared thanks to Tibetan practice returned fifteen years later. I lived through two horrible months, like going backward. I returned to studying religions and the reasons for all this, but above all I struggled with myself, my negative emotions, etc. Finally I decided to meditate again, wondering whether there is a path free of concepts, without belief in dogmas or views about life after death. I am a musician and must find my inner self, discover who I am beyond what I am :-)) And above all learn to observe my emotions better. Recently I have been practicing zazen. I went to a Zen dojo in Paris.
In Tibetan Buddhism there is “shiné” (calming the mind), then “lhaktong” (penetrating insight). This teaches one to see thoughts and emotions as a spectator, recognize them, let them pass, and then go beyond them. Zen has this too, but
in a single practice (zazen). Thanks to these practices, I have noticed that whatever arises in the mind or body, consciousness is never affected; it is the ego that is afraid. Yet when the ego is afraid, it is very difficult to see this consciousness. One must be able not to enter the emotion, but when the emotion is strong, it is difficult to pause and see that this emotion, whatever it is, has no intrinsic existence, no location or place where it is born and dies. It simply disappears but always exists potentially, since it can arise again. As soon as we look at it, it loses some solidity, but that does not remove the fear. Anyway… I need a Master to help me on the path. I watched your YouTube videos and listened to your songs. Your personality surprises me greatly. First, you have excellent musical taste and write songs. That makes me laugh. To me, a Master does not have that talent, but another: teaching meditation. Well, no—with you, Master Kosen, it is different. And listening to your songs
(since that is my profession :-)), I understood something fundamental. Simply living. You are alive, and it seems you make music the way I do, as though there were no gap between you and me in life, including everyday life. I would like to be your disciple. Is that possible?
Stéphane Guéry (www.myspace.com/stephguery)
Anonymous
Answer from Master Kosen
I like your music, particularly “Full,” “Joy,” and “Blues in Green,” which are more accessible to me, and I too would like to be your disciple. There are true masters among jazz musicians. My father had the good fortune to play with Louis Armstrong and Sidney Bechet in his day, and it was like me with Deshimaru or you with Archie Shepp.
If one day you feel like sitting with us in zazen, of course there is no problem. I have long been a fan of Archie Shepp, especially his breathing technique. I love guitar, particularly Guthrie Govan: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0LY8sok2RgE
Unfortunately, I gave the Lowden that had accompanied me for thirty years to my son-in-law, who had his eye on it. My fingers have softened; I no longer play enough. You cannot do everything.
Kosen