Question
For the past two years, at the same time of year for three to four months, I have had anxiety that keeps me from doing many things. It changes during these periods, but I am afraid to go out and spend time with friends, even though I really want to. I anticipate our get-togethers too much. I am very tired, even though I exercise and do not dramatize what is happening to me. I am angry with myself because I am 24 and never felt stressed during my first 22 years.
Today, I am a prisoner of my anxiety, and although I am constantly working on myself, I do not know how to overcome it. I think it is due to a major emotional shock in 2000 at this time of year (early July): my parents’ divorce. I was 19. Yet
since then I have come to accept many things regarding my father, who left of his own accord. My mother has also rebuilt her life and is much happier now than before, despite a year of severe depression. My anxiety began three years later; my mother, who had experienced this kind of anxiety for about ten years, stopped having it only a year or two before I began experiencing it.
Thank you for listening and for any help you may be able to offer.
Emilie
Answer from Master Kosen
Anxiety is an integral part of growth. You should not see it only as something negative or pathological. Think of it instead as a symptom of growth. The unknown frightens us, and we often prefer to keep stewing in dissatisfaction and latent suffering rather than risk breaking a moldy stability.
Kosen