Question
How can I help a teenager (17) stop feeling hatred? Without going into detail, her 15-year-old sister was “beaten up” by a former friend of the older girl’s. The two sisters accept (more or less) that I do not share their resentment toward the aggressor (I do not think there is a feminine form of that word). They have no wish to respond with violence themselves (they know that “the justice system” has been called on to play its part), but they nevertheless wish harm on their “enemy.” I hope they will one day find their way toward less suffering and greater harmony (and I hope the third girl will too). I do not wish to steer them toward a Way at this point, but I would at least like to help the older one free herself from the hatred she expresses.
Anonymous
Answer from Master Kosen
Hatred will disappear when justice is done. When justice is done and the aggressor can sincerely feel regret and understand her mistake, the victim’s forgiveness appears and the incident is washed away. But accepting such a situation without reacting is bad for everyone: the aggressor, who will do it again later, probably more seriously, to another innocent person; and the victim, who has been unjustly attacked and violated in her integrity, and has received no redress. When such a situation arises, you must go to the parents and ask whether they think it right and normal for their daughter to attack a younger girl for no reason. And ask for an apology. If the parents refuse to take responsibility, you must go to the teacher and even the police if necessary. Accepting an injustice means collaborating with it. Then everyone feels regret, apologizes, and forgives.
Kosen