Question
I wonder whether liberation is just a pretty word in Zen books.
I sit almost every day, counting my breaths. I have offered my room for zazen for almost four years now, to attract other people to do zazen with me. But people come and go, and no one stays. I feel alone and isolated from the other people on the Zen path.
I have not succeeded in establishing a sangha here. I just sit here, facing the wall, and nothing happens except pain in my knees and this question in my mind: Why?? I suffer more than ever, more than before I started zazen. Is there liberation? I wonder whether liberation is just a pretty word in Zen books.
Gassho.
Un mon sho do
Anonymous
Answer from Master Kosen
If everyone leaves your place, it is because you suffer too much and they don’t want to end up like you if they continue practicing. Stop counting your breaths; it is stupid. And make sure your posture is correct.
Kosen