Question
Hello,
I cannot manage to practice zazen authentically and simply. I cannot help practicing with all these expectations inside me, the expectations and demands that make up my personality today. I have conditioned myself to be infallible, but this harshness toward myself blocks the way to rediscovering my true sensitivity. Sometimes I feel at my worst after zazen, as if I were deeply disappointed in myself, with an overwhelming bitter taste... I keep going back anyway, but ultimately I wonder whether zazen is for me.
fredrik
Answer from Master Kosen
If you do not practice the correct posture and proper breathing, and you never receive the kyosaku, it is not going to work.
Kosen