Question
Everything I touch breaks or falls—I mean objects—and this is nothing new. As a child, when I touched a toy, even if I was very careful, I broke it. It was automatic. I gave birth to a boy, and… he is autistic. I obtained a permanent position at work at 41, after twenty years of long- and short-term contracts. Why does this only happen to me? Even today, I took my car and the passenger-side mirror broke, although I was very careful. I plan something, and people let me down. Why? Do I have bad karma, or am I paying now for a past life that was unsuccessful? I am so unhappy and disappointed with my life that when something happens, I think of ending my life. No more disappointment, no more pieces to break. I tell myself that perhaps in a future life I will be less unlucky than in this one.
Thank you for your attention.
I await your answer.
Céline
Answer from Master Kosen
You must find the positive side of your situation.
For example, autistic people are often geniuses (Mozart, Einstein, and many others), and what you consider a calamity in yourself may be that you have within you a dimension greater than that of ordinary people.
See yourself as an exceptional person and develop your particular qualities as an unusual gift, instead of considering yourself a monster.
Kosen