Question
Am I too young to practice ZAZEN? I am 19. I think I am a little young to question myself. You must be thinking, another Lucie—what a pain those Lucies are.
A year ago I ditched my studies and my parents; I wanted to be free. I went to live with a 50-year-old man. I am a little ashamed, but I thought that with him I would lack nothing. It is true that I have everything I want, well, almost. It is strange: I feel I am no longer myself, that I have been violated by my parents, by this man. I would like to enter a dojo, but I am afraid of being rejected. I do not look at all like a nun. Above all, I am afraid people will make fun of me.
Lucie, another one
Answer from Master Kosen
I understand that at 18 you can be tired of classrooms and your parents, and want both freedom and the security of a daddy.
And also that at that age you do not have an overall view of your life that enables you to make decisions with long-term effects.
But now it is up to you to define yourself as you love yourself and as you want to become.
Write down everything you are gifted at, where you have always been best, and imagine the happiness you came to this planet to find.
Once that is done, take the path leading in the direction you want to go, even if it sometimes seems to lead a little backward and will require some effort.
Effort is pure enjoyment when you choose it yourself and know why.
Kosen