Question
Hello, I have practiced Zen for a few years, and I have changed for the better. I am kind to people, but others can be mean and do not understand my kindness. So people hurt me, and sometimes it is painful. How can I live, without wanting to be fatalistic, in this individualistic society that is going backward? I have changed, and I feel good this way, but it worries me because few people understand my compassionate and empathetic responses. Even my wife does not understand me; we are drifting apart. In the end I feel alone, and I am afraid of putting my marriage at risk, since I see things differently from my wife. I try to help her understand, but it does not work. I have resigned myself, and thanks to Zen I accept it. Can we live this way, accepting other people’s unkindness?
Anonymous
Master Kosen’s answer
Can we live this way or that way? Do you think I have a stock Zen recipe that everyone can use in exactly the same way? Everyone is different. If you can live this way, carry on; if you cannot anymore, find a solution that suits you, not someone else.
Kosen