Question
I have read several of the questions people ask you and your answers, and I identify with some of them. I have been married for many years to a man who practices Zen and follows the path of meditation.
He is now a monk. At first everything was fine with me and our children, but for some time now we have not been having sex, which worries me because it has never been like this. I tried to talk to him, but there is no answer. I love him very much and always hope that things will go back to how they used to be (our relationship).
My question is: are being a monk and doing zazen the reasons he no longer comes close to me physically? Should I get used to this because Zen brings a couple’s relationship to an end?
Thank you very much for your answer.
Anonymous
Answer from Master Kosen
Be careful that he is not cheating on you with another woman.
Zen and groups of this kind, if they are not practiced with a high level of morality and consciousness, become an ideal place to fuck women, smoke pot, and drink alcohol. It is a shame, and I am trying to correct this, but… it takes time for attitudes to change.
Grab him by the balls, look him in the eyes, and ask him what kind of Zen he practices.
Tell him that if this practice does not give him enough energy and love to show affection to his wife, it is shit. That if he goes astray, sullying the sangha and his own family, he will fall into a suffering he will never forget.
Kosen