Question

i work in iraq, i'm hired for protection reasons etc

I feel like an animal, i want kill, have sex, and i'm very lost.

I don't know why i'm here on earth, i don't know what i must do, i don't know
what i am. im not afraid of dying or killing its part of life. i even
thought of killing you, is this right or wrong. i don't ever tell people
of such things. i have tears in my eyes when i write this, tears have
not come to my eyes in along time.

Help me i'm lost, i'm alive and dreaming, tell me how to wake up.

How do i do meditation and breathing, how to clear the mind, how to stop
thinking

Answer from Master Kosen

All I can tell you, on my behalf, is that I love you. Whether you kill or you be killed, I thank you for the whole humankind to send this message of love and despair, it is the most wonderful act of war which can de done, it concerns all of us and I am with you as much as I can. We are all with you and I pray for the fact that we all wake up from this nightmare and that we understand that life is eternal, that love is essential, that we are all forgiven, that these are only struggle inside a dream. As Kodo was saying, the master of my master who went to war while he was young in Russia.
"At the time of our death, maybe we will have no trouble to understand: Oh! It was only a dream".
But I wish you to live, if you know how to do zazen do it. And do what you have to do at each moment, stay within the pray and the love, make a pact with God: - God I am with you and you stay with me, even if I have to kill, or if I must die, never quit me, then what shall happen will happen. I fear nothing, neither for myself, nor for the others if I am with you and in your love. This adventure will make of you a man not like the others and you will be able to help the others.

Kosen.

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In ku there is no matter, no perception, no feeling, no action and no consciousness There is no color, no sound, no smell, no taste, no thought. There is no knowledge, no ignorance, no illusion, no cessation of illusion There is no birth, no death, no suffering, no cessation of suffering. There is no profit, no loss.

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