Question

Hello,

Thank you for your answer to my question about spiritual pride. I have just read your answer on the legitimacy of your line compared to the one of the Sotoshu. I only took part in one sesshin with you. That day, I realized that Roland was the one who I wanted to continue this particular relation with, woven starting from ordination. However, to be able to feel it, I came to listen to you, and I will do it again on the occasion. Obviously, there is a bit of uneasiness since indeed some got certified by Sotoshu, and it is said by many that it seems odd, without daring to show it, which is a bad sign. What strikes me, is the number of people (including myself!), who address to you here, as if in their medium of practice they could not be nourished regarding their major questions. An old practitioner said to me recently that one could no longer say what one thinks in the AZI. As for my part, I think that it was well too quickly, and without considering that what Deshimaru left did not require any other thing to be practiced (it seems to me to show a deep lack of faith). As if when one cultivates a ground, which ends up giving its fruits. In France, it will not be the same as in Japan, because the ground is different.

I feel that a whole aspect of what Deshimaru transmitted, dependent on simply a total presence in his body-spirit, is choking by a return to good manners, a conformism of supposedly a standard practice, of the right practice, which I call zen in suit-tie. I was able to learn zazen with someone who was taking to joke all that, the formalities, and saw the essence: bodaishin. I did not know Deshimaru, but I think of following the way he opened in the mountain thanks to what I have received, including Roland. Admittedly, I can be mistaken. I do not always agree with Roland, neither inevitably with you, or others. Nor do I reject what I can take for good of each one among you. It seems to me simply that today many would like to have a Master who tells them what to think, to avoid the effort of thinking and choosing by themselves. Whereas I believe obvious that it is with us today to invent the forms of expression of the Way in our modern world, while taking root in the transmission. In this direction, I do not also want to remain confined within Zen. If I like to know our patriarchs, I like to read Lee Lozowick, Daniel Odier, Fabrice Midal, and to listen to the cathos, Moslems and Jews, and simply the people, because they are what make the Way alive. And thus I know Zen. Also by art, ecology, life in all its forms... and with my partner, and my son.

Therefore, I like to speak with different people of different sanghas from the ones I know, those who have it, because I believe that it is much more enriching than remaining clear among ourselves within our clan and to be made believe that one is the best. And I don’t mind showing myself "zenment correct more and more" or not, because I feel so much more alive!!

The person who I spoke to you in my former question about pride said to me a not so long ago: "one practises as in Japan, one does not make questions." And there, that makes me really scare, a chill down my spine!! Because I practise in France, and I do not want especially to cease asking myself questions!! and not to solve them by reducing the Truth to how to hold the bowl, or how to give the blow of bell!!

I was given my ordination by Roland. I read what you say of him regarding ordinations. I understand your point of view, and respect it, because it is clear and without ambiguity. I also try to understand the view of Roland and his choices. Now, when I sit, all that is not very important, and I become exactly similar to you two, Deshimaru, Buddha, with the whole universe, even if my realization of that is negligible, and lasts a quarter of second.

On my behalf, having received the ordination, I have said yes to return to the cosmic order, and if it is Roland who gave me the ordination, I don’t mind that my neighbour of zazen received this as well or not, or by somebody else, I will be glad that we can sit together, because it is that which counts. It is to do zazen which seals the ordination, it is the ordination which seals zazen and together it is still better, beyond any choice or rejection!

I think that this entire situation that one goes through is a large koan, if Master Deshimaru would have died after having given a shiho. And I hold on to what he said before departing not to return anymore: "please, continue zazen." And it is with this that I try to remain faithful, and although I did not know him, I can feel in my cells all the love, the efforts, even the suffering he could have lived, and known, for to simply transmitting this treasure to us: "simply to sit ", like Buddha. Like men.

It is obvious that something bubbles more and more in this moment. I feel it, it is physical, vibratory. Almost palpable.

Where are we going??

I do not know. But I do not want to walk on any way, and I know today that there is no fate in the choice, but responsibility as for the direction which I choose to take. And as for being faithful to what Taisen Deshimaru transmitted, I think that one can feel from the bottom of oneself what is right concerning this, without letting oneself be misled by the words, were those of a Master, without either letting oneself be misled by a construction of the ego! Tokuda said of him that he was a giant, and today, I think that one can still smell his breath. But… but... but, if one does not pay attention, couldn't the flame die out?? Because he dissolved in Ku, but we, today, are here, existing through the years in this world. Then, what to do???

Attention!... Attention!...

Excuse me for having extended so much, and for not having made a real question, but I wanted to say this to you, from the bottom of my heart to yours.

Respectfully

Answer from Master Kosen

Sometimes it makes me so sad not to be able to be with my former companions of zazen any more, not to be able to practice in the Gendronière any more, I say to myself that if I had been them I would have doubtlessly done the same thing, if what I criticize in them exists in a part of myself. But I believe that if I am on the place where I am and in my situation, it is to express certain aspect of the education of sensei and I wouldn’t be able to do it if I had stayed there. Deshimaru was so universal that it is difficult to a single man to be able to claim to represent him completely. He always said: "you must follow my idea" but what was it? That of Roland or mine, I think that each of us do what we consider just and so perform the task which was assigned to us, as for myself it is without any compromise as Niwa zenji taught it to me during the passing down of the shiho.

Roland has sent me an answer regarding my statement; I shall publish it when I have had the time to answer it, because it is within the framework of the mondo online. Isn’t it amazing that two masters can discuss such important topics?

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Hello, Thank you for your answer to my question about spiritual pride. I have just read your answer on the legitimacy of your line compared to the one of the Sotoshu. I only took part in one sesshin with you. That day, I realized that Roland was the one who I wanted to continue this particular relation with, woven starting from ordination. ...



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