But it is at the time of a conversation with my ex that in a flash all my hatred, my rage, my love ran away... I felt appeased and released. I had understood that he was weak, that he required assistance and that I was to listen to him and to tell him things to help him. This calm that I felt was comparable with a drug of happiness and of love; I do not know how to describe it, like a need to like the whole earth. This state remained for 2 days, I have never been so well, I did not have any more a pain in the back as for a year, my skin was bursting and my face smooth, I was very motivated to work, I did not have any more concerns, except that of to love and help people, by knowing that that filled myself of pure plenitude. I was relieved. I looked at people differently in the Parisian subway, by finding them beautiful.
It was like shivers, but within, a state which seemed to come from the chest to diffuse itself, like a kind of ecstasy, and I really saw the Good. But on the other hand I knew instinctively that the state in which I was was only one in a very, very, very small and negligible part of what it could be. It is the first time that a similar thing happened to me, but on another side I had the impression that it is what I have been waiting for years, I have never felt so much love, I have never been "so filled", whereas during all this year, I was depressed, I felt lonely, I felt all aggressiveness and spite full people, I missed my childhood where one had values of kindness, love to others, etc...
I had the impression to have understood things completely, which could have appeared a little naive to me before, like this love of the Good and the Beautiful, like the relativity of things, etc... Everything was evident.
I know that for years I have known deep inside that in each person there is some good, but there I had the impression to see this Good person of each one initially, and also wanted to give them confidence as regards realizing this good person within them, and a irresistible desire for holding them in my arms.
What do you think of what happened to me? Do you who I can turn to tell him about it, understand it, and to know what it is necessary for me to do? I was interested in Buddhism this year, but just in the basis.
I will not say that I want to find this state at all costs (even if it is a little true) because I am well aware that it is only one consequence, that it would be a selfish thing. But they were the two TRUEST days of my life... and I know that I could not make out as if they had not existed. Same if this "drug" (I don’t know which word to use) is over, I really understood the importance of certain values and concept, an almost instantaneous, logical and natural comprehension.
I left Paris before yesterday and I am in Réunionm my native island now, for the holidays, a necessary return to the sources, which will also enable me to think, because I have the impression that what occurred to me will change my life a little but will change me, too. And completely for good, because that as I am even fishing for my job, my household, I saw Reality and that enabled me to understand how I was in the escape, and to exceed it. Tell me what you want, only a sentence perhaps, but I need to have an opinion such as yours.
Answer from Master Kosen
Mondo On the same theme : Good and Evil
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