I’ve read the various confrontations between Roland and you, and it makes me really happy that you can discuss together, as you had answered it to me. You are very different, but I do not cease being persuaded that you received the same marrow, and that you both try to retransmit it as well as possible, each one his way. I do not expect perfection of you, just the absolute, that you incarnate Buddha in an alive way. Just that!
As for the news, following my question about spiritual pride, we (finally) were transferred by our person in charge. Here we are alone, without residence, hairs facing the sky and the ground, with the impression to have our guts away, and willing all to be balanced, and also with immense hopes.
Facing the world alone, completely inhabited by very full contradictions. If we are transferred in the name of our nonconformity with what would like an orthodoxy of Zen and behaviour right that this person in charge does not even manage to clearly state nor to even practise like example, and of what it is necessary to follow to seem to be a Buddha, we cannot make differently than to note that we are inhabited of a karma, of an ego, our total imperfection and supreme qualities, our immense wisdom and our deep stupidity, and that penetrating this at the same time obscure and luminous dimension, which dwells in us, we invite god and the demon to our table
Such is our rule to practise today!
This does well and this does super evil, we understand and we do not understand, but thus there we are. This way.
But how could we stop liking, even if there are some who do not believe and think it necessary to exclude us to believe themselves protected from the fear of losing what they think it belongs to them and which could be only unlimited and universal, the Way? Even if it is thought that they should not be consolidated in their errors, and that is to like them not to abound in their direction. Even if there are the balls, even if one wants to kill, even these, one wants to be able to continue to like them. Even if in ten seconds I will betray this wish, I know what I want from always that it continues me eternally if I do not continue it. We do not want to resemble Buddha.
We want to be Buddha, become like him, to become Him.
No more, no less.
Yes, I have the balls, I do not manage to make zazen all alone, I cannot live alone, and I assume it. Because if I could I would not like it!!
If not why will I have become monk? Why will I have left my residence??
Why will I speak to you there, even if it is behind this screen and this keyboard that I hope to become a transmission system of the Way??
I am happy with a thing; it is to see that people still believe that to dialogue is more important than to look at our differences. And I hope that all these discussions concerning the future, not the AZI, neither the Soto Shu, nor the AVZD, but Zen, will preserve that and will make a rule more absolute of it than all the others. Because it is that what the world needs. And in all cases me, small component of this world. There it is for me the universality of Buddhism.
Since it is a question:
I never chose who I am by elimination of another. Simply I choose who I am to be with him. Moreover, I do not want any more to follow anybody. I want right to be with you all, without anymore somebody follows somebody, but because one walks on together.
And if I have the throat tied by writing this, it is that I am not yet free from many sufferings, but it is me, thus.
Now, I repeat a question which you did not have time to answer, but not to make you work twice, I rewrite it to you:
When the Master and the monk do sampai face to face, does it remain still a human being to wake up??
Because one day, that who taught me zazen unfolded his zagu completely facing me, since it was the birthday of my ordination. And I realized that I very received, this day when with him, I was nothing any more special, simply the face on ground facing him. And this monk who since then became for me a true Master of the transmission, and helped me to be able to remain a man while learning how to make a Buddha of it. And this continues. I hope.
Thank you all those which allow this to continue.
With all my best wishes for the holidays, and the new year, with you, and everyone!!
Answer from Master Kosen
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